Life is something isn’t it?
It seems that no matter how hard you try to figure things out, and be positive through the worst moments of your life, somehow it never seems like it’s enough. It never appears as though things are going to work out how you’d want them to.
I recently had a really deep conversation with a gentleman that I’m working with. He had shared with me some financial burdens that he’s going through. He wants the same thing that anyone wants, which is a better life for himself and his family. The problem was somehow things just weren’t connecting how he wanted them to.
For the past 3 years he’s had to plead with his landlord with rent. His family is growing with the addition of his new 3-month-old son, but can’t afford to move into a bigger place. His son is about to start prep school yet he doesn’t know how it’s going to be paid for. In addition, he would like to take his family on outings every now and again for quality time. Unfortunately, with his financial constraints all of the above doesn’t seem possible right now.
I was really torn up about it.
As a man, more so a father and husband, there’s nothing more painful than not feeling like a man. Feeling like you’re unable to take care of your family, and give them the best life has to offer.
While talking with him, I could literally feel his pain, because I had gone through what he’s going through right now. It brought me back to a very similar and dark place I was in 2013.
My daughter was about 2 years old at the time. I was broken and broke. Not like the “I have money but not enough to do what I want” type broke, I mean the “I don’t even have a dollar to buy a loaf of bread” type broke.
I couldn’t afford to send my daughter to daycare, so most days she had to stay at home with me. My business at the time was failing, and no matter what I tried nothing seemed to be working. To make things even worse, because I couldn’t afford to send my daughter to daycare, I couldn’t go out to work my business, so what I could get done in a day was very limited.
No money, no job, no sales from business, and a 2-year-old to take care of.
As if that wasn’t bad enough there wasn’t really any support from friends, family, or significant other for what I was doing outside of maybe two people (thanks mom?).
As I said it was a dark time. I was stressed, I was frustrated, and that was during the good days. On the bad ones I was angry with everyone, but mostly myself. I was angry because I knew this wasn’t what my life was supposed to be, or what I was capable of. I was angry with myself because I had allowed things to get to this point.
No one else was to be blamed for where I was except me, and I accepted that as truth. Fortunately, that also meant that I took full responsibility to turn things around. That I was the one who was in charge of my own life and my destiny.
In accepting this as my truth it allowed me to move forward, and in the process learn a few things that allowed me to make it through what was and probably will be the most difficult point in my life.
In this blog post, I want to share four things with you that helped me make it through my most difficult and lowest moment in my life. Hopefully, it will be valuable in helping you do the same.
4 Things That Helped Me Through Life’s Darkest and Difficult Time
Having Vision for Life
The first thing that is an absolute must to help you through difficult times in your life is vision. More specifically, you need to have a picture or image of a future better than how things are currently. This doesn’t have to be anything relating to finances (though it’s what most people struggle with). It could be relating to your relationship or your health. The key is to think about things being better than how it is.
The reason this is an important first step is that without it, it’s going to be all too easy for you to slip into disempowering states such as sadness and depression. When in these states it lowers your mental and even physical energy. With low energy, it’s way less likely that you’ll want to take action to do anything to change your situation.
Additionally, it’s important for you to have something in the future to look forward to so it keeps hope alive, and maintains your drive and hunger for better in your life.
Have you noticed when you feel good, inspired, or motivated you seem to have more energy to make things happen? Well having vision helps to stimulate these good feelings and places you in an empowering state.
But how do you create an image that creates an empowering state?
Creating an Image to Create an Empowering State
The easiest way to do this is to think about what the complete opposite of your current situation would look like.
If you struggle with finances, unable to pay your bills or take care of your family, picture what the complete opposite of that looks like. If it’s your health, then think about what a healthy you living a healthy lifestyle would look and be like.
For me even though I struggled with my finances I never allowed my current situation to be my future reality. My reality was being able to pay for all my family’s needs, especially my daughter. It’s being able to travel around the world taking family vacations in exotic places. Having multi-billion dollar businesses around the world. It’s being able to have the resources and personnel to have a major impact on people’s lives around the world.
Just because your current situation makes it seem as though all hope is lost and it’s over, doesn’t mean you have to believe it or settle for it.
Your reality isn’t what you see, but what you accept to be true for you.
My favourite definition of Faith is the biblical definition: The substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen.
I believe this is probably the best definition of Faith. It’s being able to maintain hope and enthusiasm for what you want, even when it hasn’t manifested as yet, or when everything you see, hear and feel in your current reality seems to be working against you.
You want to turn your financial situation around. Yet, the bills and lack of money in your bank account are telling you that things will never change. Faith is believing that they will, even when there is no physical evidence to suggest that they will.
For years I’ve been trying to reverse-engineer how to have Faith and how it works. Then how to implement it into a simple and practical approach. I’m a big fan of practicality, even with something as abstract as Faith. I won’t say that I’ve completely figured it out. Still, here’s a good approach to help you start to develop Faith in your life.
Diagram showing How to Develop Faith
Speak in Faith
First, speak in Faith by affirming what you want your life to be (not speaking how it is). A good phrase I used that you can as well is to repeat, “I’m so happy and grateful that (what you want to see happen in your life)”. Example would be “I’m so happy and grateful that I have more money than I need to cover my expenses”. It’s important to say this with intensity in your emotions (feeling energized).
The benefits to doing this are:
- Mentally- it helps you to shift your focus away from your problems and how bad things are, and to the things you want to happen in your life, so you focus more on solutions
- Emotionally- it creates empowering emotions to place you in an empowering state, so you have the energy to do something about your situation
- Spiritually- on a deeper level, taking the Law of Attraction into consideration, it will attract the people, conditions, and situations that will allow you to manifest what you are affirming
Walk in Faith
By walking in Faith I mean taking action towards creating the life you want.
It’s pointless to close your eyes, cross your fingers, do affirmations, and hope things will change, without actually taking action to do something about it.
You have to get up and get to work if you want Faith to work for you.
Celebrate in Faith
Celebrating Faith means to rejoice as if what you want to happen in your life as already manifested. There are two reasons this is important:
- It helps to create positive emotions that allows you to have the energy to take action. Also, it allows you to feel good for taking action, which creates a desire to continue taking action consistently (very important)
- It allows what you want to happen to move from the spiritual and manifest in the physical. I know, I’m going a bit deep here, but you don’t need to understand HOW it works for it to still work
The true power of Faith is manifested once you start to see the physical evidence of what you were having Faith for. However, before getting to this point patience and consistency in Speaking, Walking, and Celebrating Faith is a must.
The beauty about this is it doesn’t have to be everything you wanted. You just have to see small progress towards what you want for your Faith to start increasing. Continuously seeing small manifestation over time builds your Faith.
Having Belief in Yourself
How many times have you heard this cliché statement “You have to believe in yourself”. Though I’m not a fan of clichés, especially ones that are unfounded, I have to say that this is one of the few that’s actually true.
Without belief in yourself that you have the power, capability, and skills to make what you want to happen so, doubt will set in. Once that happens it’s less likely you’ll take action towards changing things. Belief in yourself is an essential part of the equation.
How to Develop Belief in Yourself
Below shows the process of what I’ve used to develop greater belief in myself, and how I help others do the same.
Diagram showing the process of How to Develop Belief in Yourself
- Affirmation- speak out loud, repeating at least 5 times “I am someone who has absolute belief in my power to turn my life around. I refuse to allow my current reality to dictate who I am and what I deserve!”
- Action- take action doing something ridiculously small and simple that’s easy for you to do
- Celebration- celebrate and congratulate yourself for taking action. Ensure that celebration of yourself is verbal and loud enough that you can hear yourself speak
- Reinforce- cement your new belief in yourself by repeating your affirmation mentioned above, but in third person. Say “(your name) you truly are someone who has absolutely belief in your power to turn your life around. You took action and refused to allow your current reality to dictate who you are and what you believe you are capable of”.
- Repeat- finally you have to go through Steps 1-4 consistently for at least 30 days. Doing this once isn’t enough to develop the new belief in yourself, it’s a repeated process
Taking Consistent Action
The final step is to take action consistently. It’s one thing to take action, but to really see the change you want in your life, your actions have to be consistent. Consistency is the winning ingredient that unlocks what you want in your life.
This step is pretty self-explanatory so I don’t need to get too much into taking action. However, I would like to add a few key points that will help you in taking action consistently.
- Focus on action, not achievement. By this I mean don’t focus on the end result or change you want to see happen in your life. Rather focus on the daily actions you need to take that will make the change happen. This helps you to keep positive and focus on what needs to get done to change your situation
- Celebrate taking action daily. Don’t just wait until you’ve achieved the goal or hit a major milestone to celebrate. Celebrate even something as simple as taking action each day.
- Try not to compare where you are in life to how far others are. I used the word ‘try’ because I know it’s going to be difficult not to. It’s human nature to compare where we are to where others are in life. However, in order to maintain enthusiasm, especially through your most difficult times, it’s important to understand that each person walks their own path, and travels their own journey. Stay focus on yours
- Document your daily journey. This will allow you to identify what is working, and recreate success on your path. Remember change doesn’t happen in a moment, it’s a process of many small wins that ultimately lead to a major change
These four things combined lead to one very important thing: Hope.
While going through difficult times we need Hope. It is the light that shines in our darkest hour, the light that guides us through the darkness. It is the breath that keeps us from suffocating under the pressure of life.
I once heard a quote that speaks deeply to the power of having Hope, and how important it is to survive life’s most difficult times.
“Human beings can survive 4 weeks without food, 4 days without water, and 4 minutes without air, but cannot survive 4 seconds without Hope”.
It’s important to understand that every one of us will go through a difficult period in our lives, sometimes even several. I know it can be depressing and hard to really think you will ever make it through. However, take it from me, you will. Focus on what you can control, and the future of the life you want to create that’s better than how things are now.
Just because you may feel alone, doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Hopefully, the tips and techniques outlined in this article are enough to help you get through your difficult times.
No matter how bad it may seem, it can change, it can get better. You just have to make the effort to do so, in Faith, believing that you can, and taking consistent action to change things.
To your success my friend!
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