Already feel like quitting on your goal? Great! That means you’re human.
We’re only in the beginning of the second month of the year, 7 days into the Best Year Ever 30 Day Challenge, and you probably feel like quitting already. It’s okay, I’ve been there too. Feeling like maybe this amazing goal you have probably wasn’t as amazing as you thought it would be. Wondering to yourself “Why did I even take this up in the first place?!”…yup…been there too. I know you may be tempted to beat yourself up right about now for wanting to quit on your goals, but please don’t. Feeling like quitting doesn’t make you a loser, it just makes you human.
Besides you’re Too Legit to Quit *insert baggy pants, 80’s hair cuts, and dance routine here*
I couldn’t resist…
Luckily, because I’ve been where you are now too many times to count anymore (I’m sure I’m in the thousands by now), I’ve also discovered how to keep going and push through when you don’t want to and when you feel like quitting.
To help stick with your goals try these two techniques
1. Think about what you will lose if you quit now and what you will gain if you don’t
Take a moment and think about the consequence that you will experience if you quit now (you should have already done this with Step 3 of the 6 Step process outlined in previous post). I want you to really think about it, think about how your life is now, how uncomfortable it is now, how dissatisfied you are with your life because it isn’t or you aren’t where you want it to be. Think about who do you love that will end up suffering because you quit. I want you to literally imagine it, and FEEL the discomfort, FEEL the pain, FEEL every negative emotion that you feel because you’re stuck in your life right now. Think about how painful it has been in the past, how painful it is now, and if you quit and don’t do something about it how painful it will continue being in the future. Really FEEL the pain.
If you can make the pain of quitting more than the pain of your life remaining where it is now, then the pain of quitting will act as a driving force to keep you in the game, to avoid feeling or experiencing the consequence of you quitting.
The more painful and severe the consequence the better!
Now I want you to think about the complete opposite. Think about if you don’t quit, and continue being consistent with your actions, what would the end result be? What would the reward be? How would you FEEL if you accomplished your goal? Imagine it for a second. Would you FEEL Joy? Happiness? Fulfillment? FEEL how amazing your life is because you didn’t give up on your goal! Like a breath of fresh air! Now that you’ve read through the strategy, try it!
Now tell me, after that exercise do you still feel like quitting? You do?! Really?! Okay try this…
2. Focus on the Routine (Activity) not the Result (Achievement)
Now I know what you’re going to say “But Winston you just had me do the whole imagining thing and NOW you’re telling me NOT to focus on the result?”…Yes. Here’s the difference between what I told you to do before and what I’m telling you to do now. The exercise in the first instance is what is known as Visualization. It’s when you use your imagination to picture a particular desired result, and this creates an emotional response within you to get you into action (or in this case staying in action). This process lasts only a few minutes. However, if you’re constantly thinking about the end result ALL THE TIME then when you’re working towards your goal, but it seems to not be happening fast enough, your mind is going to tell you that it’s not working and what you’re doing is pointless. You then become disappointed and discouraged and decide to quit. In truth it may be that the timing for the results to show up in your life may not be at the time you expected, but it doesn’t mean it’s not on the way.
Think about it this way….
Have you ever been at the bus stop waiting on a bus, or maybe you’re waiting on someone to pick you up. They said they would be there by 9am. However, 9:25am comes and they’re still not there. Does this mean that you should give up waiting? No, it just means that the person hasn’t arrived in the time you expected them to, but they’re still on the way, and so it is with your goals.
One of the ways visualizing has worked for me is whenever I’m feeling frustrated, it’s typically due to me focusing on how things are not working the way how I want them to. Whenever this happens I know I need to reshift my focus, this is where visualizing comes in. I take a few minutes to think about why I’m working on this goal, and the possibilities that exists if I continue to pursue it. This helps me to not only feel great about my goal, but also puts things into perspective, reminding me that this is just a part of the process I have to go through to get to my end desire result.
So going back to what I mentioned earlier. What you want to do is imagine the result. This means every day you wake up, you visualize the end result for 3-5 minutes, then your ONLY focus is to ensure you execute the activity to the best of your ability that day. You’re not thinking if it works or doesn’t work, you’re just doing your part, taking action. The miracle behind this is once you take action long enough and consistently enough the results will inevitably show up anyway.
I have had many experiences like this in my life, in business, and even when I decided to remain more consistent in my workout routine. For days and weeks I would exercise day in, day out, 7 days a week (Sunday to Sunday). At times even twice per day, and see absolutely no results or change in my body. The temptation came to just quit on this exercise thing and forget about it. Every time that thought entered my mind I would do 2 things:
1). I focused on the routine of working out. I reminded myself that the goal was not to get a better physique, but to be consistent for 30 days, which I had never been able to do in my entire life. Once I did my part of taking action that day, then I wouldn’t think about it again until the next day.
2). I visualized the end result of 5Y2M. I knew if I was to teach on the strategies of consistency I had to ensure that I first was consistent in my life. There’s no way I could teach something that I wasn’t doing myself. I would think of the pain if I quit now and how that would ruin my vision for 5Y2M and how painful that would be for me. On the opposite side I also thought about if I did remain consistent how amazing I would feel knowing that I could share my strategies and techniques with others that can help them become more consistent in their lives, and turn things around for them! The immense joy and fulfillment that would bring if I accomplished this was indescribable. This kept me going through the pain and disappointment of not seeing results in the time I wanted.
I know sticking with your goals and being consistent can be difficult, after all I struggled with it for 31 years. Even now I’m still learning and trying to master it. Once you know how to focus your mind and attention on the right things that will pull you towards your goals, rather than the things that will discourage and frustrate you and make you want to quit, then you’ll know the immense inner pleasure and pride you’ll feel knowing you didn’t give up. You pushed through…You stuck with it. I can tell you from my personal experience, and hearing from others I’ve helped be more consistent with this strategy that the feeling of knowing you’re progressing with every action is enough to excite you and keep you going, until you eventually achieve the results you want!
This focus and attention takes time to develop (especially if you have a noisy mind like mine). However, once you keep practicing the art of focusing consistently, then it will become easier.
The irony of it is that in the end the greater fulfillment comes not from accomplishing the goal, but the amazing new Person of Power you become in the process of achieving the goal…and that is truly invaluable!
Next Action Step
Make a commitment to yourself to stick with it no matter what, that you will prove to yourself that you are a WINNER and not a quitter
Ask yourself the question “What do I stand to lose if I quit now?” Then close your eyes and answer your own question by picturing the consequences you will experience, and focus on feeling the pain of these consequences. Why do I say focus on the pain? Because our brains are conditioned to avoid the things that cause us pain more than the things that gives us pleasure. So if the consequence is painful enough then you will want to avoid it, and that means taking action and not quitting
Do one small simple activity as soon as you are finished reading this that will move you one step closer towards your goal. It doesn’t have to be the complete activity you committed to, it can even be half or even a quarter of the activity. The goal is we are trying to condition your mind that even when you feel like quitting, you won’t
Celebrate and congratulate yourself in second person for taking action, after all if you’ve taken one small action step towards your goal then you’re already a winner! Say “You didn’t quit on your goals that’s awesome! You’re amazing, you’re powerful, you’re a winner!“
On your journey to achieving your goals just know that there will be many, and I mean MANY times you will feel like quitting, don’t worry that’s completely normal. It means you’re doing something right (or at the very least doing something). IF you didn’t feel like quitting it means you’re probably not doing anything to move towards your goals. So take comfort and pride in the fact that though you may not be there yet, though you may feel like quitting, at least you are doing your part in moving closer to the realization of your goals…and that’s all you could ask of yourself.
Stay with me, but more importantly don’t give up on you!
To your success my friend!
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