I want to do things a bit differently.
Rather than jumping right into any technique or strategy, I want to tell you a story.
I think it will better help you understand the process you are and will go through as you start your own journey of turning your life around.
At the end I will outline the exact strategy and approach you can use to start your journey.
Also, throughout the story I will give you nuggets to take note of, which will be valuable do you.
The Story: In the Beginning
It was December 2014, it was my birthday, and I had just turned 30.
Rather than being super excited and celebrating seeing a new year, I spent hours doing some deep introspection.
I began looking at my life, and where I was at that point. I wasn’t happy or pleased. As a matter of fact I would even say I was depressed.
The vision of where I thought my life would be at 30 didn’t match my reality.
I began asking myself “What went wrong?”
“How could someone who has always been praised for having such potential end up here?”
“Where did things go wrong?”
“Where did I go wrong?”
My life was a mess in every way you could possibly imagine, especially financially. Even worse none of the goals, dreams, or aspirations I had or expected to have been accomplished by 30 were anywhere close to being realized.
Money, relationships, career…it all fell apart. I was an emotional wreck.
All I wanted was to give my family the best, to give my daughter the best. To be able to help others become their best, and impact the world in a meaningful way.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m super driven and ambitious.
Anyone who is super driven and ambitious knows it’s the worst feeling in the world when nothing you’ve been working for is working out.
It’s a gut-wrenching, punch to the face type of feeling, that feels worse than dying.
In other words It Sucks.
I had two choices: Give up then, or fight.
In that moment I remembered a quote, “Life is a fight for what you want. If you don’t fight for what you want, soon what you don’t want takes over”.
What’s even worse to me than failing…quitting.
That’s just one thing I’ve never been able to accept. Never been able to compromise the life I want to create for my family, for an okay one. Not lowering the standard of what I knew deep down I could become, no matter how hard it was.
In that moment I decided to fight.
Because the only thing worse to me than feeling like a failure at 30, is regretting at 60 that I allowed myself to give up, and fail my family.
I want to pause here for a second, because I want this story to have meaning for you than just being an interesting read.
Key points to take away:
1. Your life doesn’t end and all hope loss because you aren’t where you expected to be right now
3. No matter how bad things get never lower your standards because you’re worth it
4. You only fail if you give up on yourself, not when life doesn’t go how you expected it to
Here’s the problem…
Fast forward to January 2015.
I started with new goals, new motivation, and new years resolutions. I was on fire and determined to change things once and for all.
I set and wrote down my goals just like all the books told me to. I had a fool proof plan and knew exactly what to do.
I was focused and hungry like every motivational speaker told me to be.
This time I was ready, I was so ready! I could taste it, I could feel it! This was it!
January I started taking action. By the end of January I was no longer taking any action.
I wanted to change, I want to make things better in my life.
The problem was I was trying to change my outer conditions while still remaining the same inside. It’s what I’ve been doing all my life, and that’s why I’ve been failing. Even when I made progress, I still went back to where I was eventually.
I was trying to change my life, while still having the same bad habits. I lacked discipline and I lacked consistency in taking action to stick with any plan I had.
Just because I wanted things to get better doesn’t mean that it would.
I still struggled and I still end up failing, and feeling like a failure again.
Now I’m 31 and I’m still in the same place I was last year, maybe even worse off.
The only thing I could think to myself was “Seriously Winston…Seriously!”
The only difference was instead of being depressed, this time I was angry. Not only was I angry that life was the same, I was angry with myself (but in a good way).
What I mean when I say in a good way, I was angry, disgusted, and frustrated because of my situation, but it was a great catalyst to get me to change.
IF you know how to channel your emotion, it can work to your advantage.
Key points to take away:
1. You can’t change your life until you’re willing to change yourself first
2. Wanting things to change isn’t enough. You have to create the change you want
3. If you know how to channel your emotions, what may seem like something negative can be turned and used as something positive
The Moment That Changed It All
Yet again I sat and did some self analysis. It was then I sat down and wrote out every single internal mental barrier that had been keeping me stuck this entire time.
It was no longer about trying to change things, it was now about trying to change me.
I decided I would work on one thing that held me back, and only that one thing.
I saw that what I wanted was to turn my life around, but what I needed to do so was to develop greater consistency and discipline.
January 2016 and guess what happened next?!
Nope you didn’t guess it.
Truth is I still did the same thing I did in January 2015. I wrote the goals, had the plan, took action, stopped taking action.
I was still getting in my own way. Keeping my own self from the life I wanted.
My lack of discipline and consistency still held me hostage.
At this point I was like “Winston what the…this is just getting ridiculous now! C’mon man!”
Thursday, April 28, 2016
I got the vision for 5 Years 2 Mastery from God.
You would think that would be enough to get me to finally do something right? It wasn’t.
This time fear got the best of me, and I procrastinated, because I was afraid of what others would think if I put myself out there.
I now realize it’s the middle of 2016, and it’s almost ending.
Suddenly I then realized if I didn’t do something now, then I would end up in the same position at the end of 2016, that I was in 2015 and 2014.
It was then I realized putting off turning my life around would become my new norm and new habit. Then it would be next to impossible to change it.
My fear of waking up one day at 60 living a life of regret would become my reality.
That for me was unacceptable. It was the last straw.
It was in that moment (this is the moment), that I made a true decision to change. To finally do something about it instead of just talking.
On June 4, 2016, I started the process of turning my life around once and for all. Not through my words, but through my discipline and commitment to taking action.
Key points to take away:
1. Having a goal, a plan, and even taking action isn’t enough without discipline to stick with it
3. What you put off to fix today, may lead to your downfall tomorrow
4. When you’re truly ready to change your decision to change will match the change in your behaviours
The End, of the Beginning
13 months later
Now in 2017, and finally not only have I made the change, but I can see how my life has turned around and is progressing compared to 13 months ago.
I see how all the pieces of the puzzle are slowly fitting together. For the first time my vision is matching my reality. For the first time I no longer feel out of control, drifting on the sea. Financially things are better, and I’m on the path to creating the life for my family I had always envisioned.
Now I feel like my life is in the place I want it to be.
I’m way more disciplined and consistent than I was before. Plus I’m able to help others start their own journey of turning things around also. Developing greater discipline in their lives, and helping them become their best selves, and create the life they’ve always wanted.
This I’m eternally grateful for.
Now this isn’t the end of the story, I’m still on my journey as this is being written.
It’s only the end of the beginning of the story. The end to the person I use to be that held me back.
Now I must continue the story to the end.
How Do You Start Turning Things Around?
Okay I’ve gone through the story. The point was to show you that change is a struggle. I understand that it is and that’s why I’m empathetic to what you may be going through now.
So let’s start.
1. The first thing is to look at how your life is currently. What about it are you dissatisfied and disgusted with (remember disgust can be a good thing if used to your advantage).
2. What would the complete opposite of your current life look like. Visualize the best version of how you want things to be.
3. Think about why it’s important for you to change. It’s one thing to know what you want, but if you’re not strong on your reasons why, you won’t follow through
4. What will be the consequence if you don’t follow through. What’s the worst case scenario that could happen if things stay the way they are
Remember for me the worst thing was waking up at 60, living with regret that I couldn’t give my family, especially my daughter, the best life I want for them.
5. Do a self-analysis and identify what’s the one thing that has been keeping you from the change you want to see
6. Make a commitment to work on that one thing. Also, find a medium you can use to work on it
So for me I used exercise as a way to develop greater consistency and discipline
The key is to focus on changing what you need (the internal barrier what’s holding you back), to see the change you want (a better life you can feel happy about)